SS Shattered Dreams

Part 1


"You've changed, Chote. Since you got married, you are in love. You don't answer my questions anymore. You've changed."


Arnav sat at the edge of the bed, silently contemplating what his Di has just said to him. Her words taunting him repeatedly. Had he truly changed? Maybe. He was making more effort with Khushi. That was a fact but he had also known that she had been through quite a lot and yet was his sister right? Maybe he was gentler but then he had always been gentle with Di and had always shown his soft side to Anjali, so how could she have said he changed?! He glanced up and saw his sister studying him intently.


"What, Di?"


"Nothing Chote. In the past, I could read you, know what you were thinking. And now, I cant even do that. Yet, when you lost your voice, Khushi seemed to be able to read you just from the movement in your eyes." She spoke softly in between sobs.


"That's not true Di. You can read me just as much. And I've not changed Di. I'm still your Chotey ' one and only. And I do answer your questions" Arnav replied though acknowledged that maybe she was right, lately he had been economical with the truth.


"Really Chote?! Then answer me this ' why did you marry Khushi, Chotey? Especially when you had said before you were not interested in marriage?"


Arnav sat silently. What could he say?! That he found Shyam hugging Khushi at the terrace and that Khushi telling Shyam to get a divorce from Anjali?! No, he decided. He could not say that. That would only paint Khushi in a bad light. But he had to say something. But what? His brain searched for answers and was coming out blank.


"Why the silence, Chotey?! See ' you've stopped telling me the truth and answering my questions anymore." She removed her hand abruptly from his hold. "Leave Chotey. Get out!" She inched her feet closer to her bum, in an obvious attempt to create a physical distance between the two.


"No, Di. You can't banish me like that. I'm your Chotey, remember? Please Di."


"No Chotey. You are no longer my Chotey. You are now Khushi's Arnavji. Mamiji was right in saying that she has you twisted around her little finger."


"That's not true Di. Really, you are misunderstanding Khushi. Please Di." Arnav inched closer, her purposely held onto her hand tighter. "I'll answer you Di. Whatever you want, I'll answer. Just don't leave me like this please. Don't withdraw from me so abruptly like Mum did, please." He begged and felt his eyes became heavy with tears. He didn't care if he was the mighty ASR. The thought of losing his sister's love terrified him immensely.


"Anything Chote?!"


Arnav nodded.


"You will answer me?" she whispered.


He nodded again. "Yes, I will answer."


He closed his eyes, fighting the tears from failling, his cheeks hurting immensely. He felt his sister's gentle hands cupped his cheeks and immediately felt comforted, like the numerous times in the past. Like when she cupped him and whispered softly that it would be okay during their parents funeral. And when she cupped his face, before placing a gentle kiss on his cheeks before lulling him to sleep when they were thrown out of their home and moved into Naniji's home. Everytime he was stressed or worried, she was there and holding him gently and easing his pain. It would be ok, he told himself but part of him struggled to believe it.


"Chotey, did you see Shyamji when you were kidnapped?"


"What?!" Arnav immediately opened his eyes and distanced himself from her.


"I'm asking and you said you would answer all my questions today Chotey. If you are my Chotey, you will answer. If you are hers, then walk away now."


Arnav stared at the closet to his right.


Could he walk away and leave his sister upset? The thought did slip through his mind but he also knew almost immediately, the answer would be a big No. he could not leave Anjali after all she had done for him, after the bond they have and most importantly, it was his duty as her brother to look after her and her unborn child.


But could he answer her questions truthfully?! That was also a definite No. He would have to again, like before, be economical with the truth. Only because of her current state. He had thought that with the truth out few days ago, she would see how Khushi and he had suffered. But to his amazement, she continued to hold on to the illusion of her husband and he had no solid evidence either to sway her apart from what he saw and his conversation with Shyam. Would she believe him, like Naniji?! It was worth a try as he had nothing to lose if she didn't. So it was decided then. He would answer her questions.


He returned his gaze towards his sister.


"So Chotey, you were kidnapped few weeks ago?"


"Yes"


"And you believe Shyam had a hand in it?"


"Yes" I don't believe Di, I know!!!


"Is that because Khushi told you that?"


"What do you mean?"


"Did they blindfold you, Chotey?"


"Most time, no. Except for one day."


"Did you see Shyam at the airport?"


"No. But he knew I was going to be there?"


"That's convenient Chotey. We all knew you were going away. So he would as well."


"He was going to meet me at the airport." Arnav replied, knowing full well wehere his sister's questioning was going to lead and wanting so desperately for it to not go there.


"Really?! Says who? Khushi."


Arnav sat silently. Khushi did tell him about Shyam coming to the airport to clear the mess. She had begged him to wait but he didn't.


"Did you see Shyam anytime you were kidnapped?"


Arnav shook his head.


"Then how can you say that he kidnapped you?! Because of HER?"


"That 'Her' is my wife, Di."


"and that man that you accused, is my husband. The father of my unborn child."


Arnav watched as Anjali caressed her tummy  to emphasis the point.


"How long have you been married Chotey?" Anjali raised her hand to silence him. "You don't need to answer that Chotey. Weeks, months? Around 5 months. And you know her so well, yes?" Her eyes bored into his. "You can answer that one, Chotey."


"Yes, I trust her immensely."


"And I trust my husband immensely. And I have been married to him for years, chotey. Years!!! Yet you rather believe your wife than me. Did you ask me what I thought this was all about before you threw my husband out of the house in such a disrespectful manner? Did you?!"


Arnav shook his head. "No, but Di ' all the evidence showed that Shyam was not the man we thought he was. Fine, you doubt Khushi. What about NK? Payal? All their comments agree with each other, Di."


"They could have all discussed it together before."


"Why would they Di? What would be their incentive? And what would be NK's?"


"I don't know about NK. But I know from the first time he met Khushi, he was smitten with her. She could say anything and he would believe her, like you. Have you seen any evidence?"


"The will that he apparently left everything to himself?"


Arnav shook his head.


"The USB disk in a form of a chain?"


Arnav again shook his head.


"Then what evidence have you got? Just Khushi's word against Shyam's. And you decided that to follow your wife's. How convenient! But no consideration for me." She sobbed.


Arnav sat frozen. Part of what his sister said was right. They had no evidence. But he also knew that Shyam was wrong. And their conversation was swaying into an awful territory and he had to stop it at any cost.


"I had approached Shyam before Payal and Akash's wedding. Shyam had said that he was in love with Khushi and you were standing in the way."


"Did he really? Why did you not tell me then Chotey? Why only now? Conveniently protecting Khushi?"


"Are you serious Di?"


"Yes. You have no evidence Chotey and yet you decided what was best for this household. YOU and your wife. I don't blame you Chotey. Khushi can come across as innocent and nave and loving. I liked her once too. But that was then. Before he truth came out. What if mamiji is right? What if the two girls were eyeing our money all along and this was somekind of trap set by them." Anjali inched closer and cupped his face loving. This time though, Arnav felt as though it was a noose around his neck and inched away, pushing his body backwards as he stared at his sister's eyes that now was cold as ice.


Realisation of his dilemma hit him. He was caught in the middle of the two most important people in his life ' his sister and his wife. Images of him slapping Shyam flashed before him. Few days ago, he had slapped his disgusting brother-in-law in front of the whole family for hurting his sister and wife. How was he any different? Everything that he seemed to do recently seemed to either upset Khushi and Di. So he was also on a trajectory of hurting both of them and somehow he saw no way out. He could not give up on his sister but neither did his heart want to give up on Khushi. He felt alive with her. She hugging him a few hours ago and her final acceptance of him as her husband by the tightness of her hold on him just made his insides radiate with pure joy. Yet, here he was ' sitting on the bed with his sister, who was blaming everything on Khushi, fuelled by her being upset as she thought he had intentionally ditched her for Khushi and he could also imagine Khushi being somewhere in the house ' either making jalebis in the kitchen or pacing in their bedroom, equally upset but probably with why he had chosen her over his sister. He was in now in no man's land and no winning options available for him either.


"Think about it Chotey. Who would benefit most with you dead?"


He sighed.


"Chotey, answer me. Who do you think would benefit most with you dead?"


"I don't know. Tell me."


"Khushi."


He stood up and slowly turned to face his sister. "That's not true Di. Even though Khushi is my wife, legally she had no rights to any of my properties. I had written a will after we married that left everything to you. With me dead, Khushi would have been nothing but my poor widow. So she definitely would not have gained anything. You would have."


"and that's why she made a pass at my husband."


"What?!!!"


"She would be a poor widow and she would need someone rich to look after her. Shyam would have managed the finances and if she had him in her little finger, she would have indirect control to Raizada mansion and all your assets. You know what Shyamji's like - he looks after everyone."


Arnav felt the rage build inside him, coupled with feeling nauseas at her description of a 'wonderful' husband. He had to give it to her though - she was right. Shyam would certainly look after everyone but not in the way she had thought. His rage crescendod.

"Are you serious? Are you actually listening to yourself? Listen to me Di. Loud and clear. Yes, I have no evidence against Shyam but Khushi would not have benefited from me being dead. If anyone would benefit from it, it would have been you and Shyam. And yet ' if I thought the way you and Mamiji did, I would think you had something to do with my kidnapping but I know that is not the case. So now we are stuck. You believe in your husband and I believe in my wife. What do we do? What do you want us to do, Di? Because I don't know what to do."


He turned and walked towards the door.


"How much do you love me Chotey?" She spoke softly and lovingly.


"I'd die for you Di."


"Would you give me what I want, Chotey? For my happiness and for my baby's happiness?"


Arnav rested his head on the door frame. "Yes"


"I want it to return to the way it was before the weddings. When we were all happy and a family."


 "Seriously?" his voice waivered. He kept his head on the door, afraid to look at his sister. Afraid of what he would find in her eyes.


"I've always been there for you Chotey. I've loved you not as a sister but more as a mother. I've always placed your happiness before mine. Today I'm asking for my happiness Chotey. Today I'm asking for you to return it to the way before the weddings. Please. I know what I'm asking and I know the consequences but for once, I don't care. I want to be happy and deserve to be happy, Chotey. You will do it?" she spoke, her voice strong matching her inner resolve.


Arnav made his way out of the room and closed the door tightly. He tooked few steps away from the door and walked slowly doing the corridor and into his room. It was deserted. Khushi must still be in the kitchen. He scanned the room and briefly allowed his eyes to take in Khushi's belongings. He inched into his pool area, sliding the door behind him. He made his way into a far corner behind his lovely lushes green plants and sat slowly onto the floor with his back hunched and he began to sob. He shut his eyes and allowed the tears to flow down without any control.

It did not matter what his answers were. Anjali was as stubborn as him. He had known it before. But her stubbornness was expressed as her sweetness over the family, her complete devotion to her prayers and rituals and her unwithering protection and love for him. But he also now knew that a woman scorn was a dangerous woman and now Anjali believed that she was that woman and combined with their inherited stubbornness, she could be fatal and yet he could not walk away from her. But maybe there was still a chance for Khushi to get out from this mess, his mess. He could not leave Anjali but he also had to do what was right for Khushi. She was still young and had her whole life ahead of her. To be stuck with him in this would be awful. He had seen how his family ill-treated her and he had kept quiet, silently hoping that  things would changed. But the great ASR was wrong. Nothing would change. Mamiji and Di's hatred for Khushi would only get worse. He had to do what was right for Khushi even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness. She deserved it and now that she accepted him as her husband, it was his duty to also ensure he did what was right for her.  And it was important that he had to let her go but he did not know how and he did not want to either, but had no choice.